“I’m just not good enough.”

“She’s better than me.”

“I can’t guard that guy!”

“I always have a bad April.”

These are just some of the phrases that I have heard in my role working with elite athletes and teams on their mental toughness. Declarative adverbs like “always” and “never” followed by negative conclusive statements based on lies, perceptions, and half-truths never help you perform at your best. And yes, I intended to use the word “never,” on purpose, for emphasis!

When you believe a lie, it’s hard to trust, because trust is based on truth. I don’t think anyone willingly and consciously decides to believe a lie. It happens more subtly over time in response to a circumstance or situation. Something happens and you start to draw conclusions and even worse, make decisions based on a few data points without even exploring, discerning, and deciding how to solve the situation. You fail in a given moment in a big tournament and suddenly exclaim that you are not a good putter, when putting has actually been one of your key strengths in golf tournaments when it matters most. You go through a slump and wonder if you are good enough to compete at the next level. Someone beats you on a play, and you suddenly decide you can’t defend or defeat this person, mentally forsaking your opportunity to compete for the rest of the game or match.

Perceptions, circumstances, situations, and “lies” must be explored, dissected, combatted, and conquered in order to discover the truth and define the moment. Don’t let a circumstance define your ceiling. I have found that this process involves two critical steps:

• Identify Your Limiting Beliefs – A limiting belief is any thought or belief that limits you from maximizing your potential and/or accomplishing your goal. You can read more here about breaking out of the box of limiting beliefs, but the key is to identify them and understand how they affect your performance. Limiting beliefs are often based on lies that are conjured up based on circumstances and outside forces, not your character traits and internal truths. When you allow limiting beliefs to define your identity, they kill, steal, and destroy your opportunity to perform in the moment. For example, a basketball player who has always been a good shooter has an off night and the team loses causing him to doubt his shooting ability and therefore his impact on future games. Documenting and verbalizing limiting beliefs is the first step to conquering them, but it’s not the end.
• Define Your Activating Truths – Once you have identified your limiting beliefs, you have an opportunity and a choice to define your “Activating Truths.” An Activating Truth is a belief based on truth about you that ultimately results in a definitive and positive action, which creates value and impact. You discover Activating Truths by conducting a self assessment of your strengths as well as talking to others (coaches, close friends, parents, teammates) who have a vested interest in your success and growth. Activating Truths are often the opposite of Limiting Beliefs. You can also define your Activating Truths by exploring past moments where you have succeeded and your traits and qualities that led to those moments. For example, a soccer player might falsely declare internally to themselves or externally to others a limiting belief like “I’m not a good scorer,” and “I don’t know if I belong here.” Yet, when we look back at her past moments, she has excelled at every level and has typically been the best on the field leading to an Activating Truth of “I am a great scorer and will trust my abilities to play this game I love!” Many times, I will work with an athlete on this process and walk through moments of truth or missions of fact-finding that allow them to discover the real truth about their identity, their strengths, and their future opportunities to unleash their talent. Activating Truths are not just feel good cliches. They are truths based on facts that allow you to trust your abilities and triumph in the moment!

When it comes to your performance in sports, school, business, and life, what lies are you buying into, and what truths do you need to believe?