Enjoy The Moment – Podcast: S01E013

Sometimes, we don’t enjoy the moments in our lives. Now, I know not every moment was meant to be enjoyed, especially when it comes to trials in our lives. But, there are times when we are not fully present in moments that were meant to experienced and appreciated! When I wrote my book, Moments: Making Your Life Count For What Matters Most, one of the 6 principles that I highlighted was Enjoy The Moment. In today’s podcast, you will learn why enjoying the moments in your life is important and 3 concepts for how to do this effectively.

Episode Outline:

To enjoy the moment, I have found three key supporting concepts that can make this principle come alive in your life:

  1. The journey is as important as the goal
    • Consider the following questions when pondering the concept of the journey:
      • What did it take for you to reach your goal?
      • Who has helped you along the way?
      • Who has been impacted by your journey?
      • How did your journey affect your growth as a person?
  2. Love who you are
    • Do you love who you are and who you are becoming?
    • Do you let feelings affect your acceptance of core truths about your life?
    • If you let negative feelings affect your thoughts and ultimately your actions, you will never reach the mountaintops that are prepared just for you.
    • Consider the following equation: A = T2 + F
    • Unpacking the equation: Our attitude (A) equals thoughts based on truth (T2) plus or minus our feelings (F). We must maintain a foundation of truth in our lives, and our thoughts must reflect these truths. You have a choice in whether to believe what is true about your life, but your decision does not determine its truth. As Dr. Barry Landrum, my father-in-law and former pastor, says, “The truth is still the truth even if no one believes it. And a lie is still a lie no matter how many people believe it.”
    • What truth is God trying to communicate to you about Himself and about your life?
  3. Love what you do
    • Do I love my work?
    • What are my strengths and talents?
    • What do those who know me best say my strengths and talents are?
    • What am I really passionate about?
    • Do my strengths, talents, and passions line up with what I am currently doing?
    • Am I fully engaged in my work?
    • On Monday morning, do I have a yearning that I MUST be there?
    • Do I make a positive impact?

Resiliency Is Found In One Swing Of The Racket

Rafael Nadal was in a fierce battle on the grassy courts of the All England Tennis Club against Gilles Muller, an underdog in this battle. This was Wimbledon, a tournament where championships are earned, heartbreaks abound, and greatness is achieved! They were well into the 5th set of the match when the announcer boldly proclaimed: “The distance between triumph and disaster is just a swing of the racket.” The final set in a match at Wimbledon cannot be decided by a tiebreaking game, so they played until Muller eventually won 15-13 games in the 5th and deciding set.

Gilles Muller beating Nadal

Gilles Muller (Credit: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

For many people, the quote from the Wimbledon announcer represents their life. I work with many athletes where success or setbacks hang in the balance of one play, one shot, one game, or one race based on the decisions and choices that they make. Pressure is often at its greatest during these moments, and they must be present and focused in order to bring their best to the competition at hand. Sometimes, they are competing against someone else. Other times, they are competing against themselves wondering if they have what it takes to overcome a misplaced doubt or random negative thought that decided to enter their mind at the most inopportune time.

Triumph and disaster do often hang on the swing of a racket, the follow through of a shot, or the kick of a ball. The key question is: What do peak performers think about in moments like these that will help them achieve triumph over disaster? Here are 3 things that you can learn from elite athletes that will help you consistently perform at your best in any area of life:

  • Be Present – If you want to perform at your best especially in pressure moments, you have to be present not only physically but also mentally and emotionally. This skill is one of the top priorities that I work with athletes and business leaders on in my coaching. We live in a hyper-stimulated world, and our focus is often affected by distractions that direct our mind and emotions down the wrong path, which leads to less than stellar results. I am sure you understand what it means to be present in a place physically, and you also probably know what it feels like to be absent mentally and/or emotionally. As Fulton Oursler said, “Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.” The thieves of fear and regret often kill, steal, and destroy our opportunity for triumph, meaning, and impact. You must be present to be your best!
  • Be Outcome-Driven and Process-Focused – I have written about this technique in other places, but this is one of the top ways to both be present and also achieve the outcomes and results that you desire. In this epic Wimbledon battle, Gilles Muller never lost hope and kept focusing on serving well, moving his feet, playing with energy and effort, and mixing up his shots. He was not obsessing about the outcome to the point of desperation or worrying about the circumstances of who he was playing against or the crowd who was cheering for Nadal. He stayed focused on process-oriented things that he could control, which led to playing his best tennis and winning the match. No matter what your role is in life, set challenging goals and desire incredible outcomes. Just remember that to achieve these inspiring goals, you should not consume your mind and emotional energy overly obsessing about the outcome that you want. You must simplify it and focus on the process-oriented things that will lead you to the outcome or result.
  • Be Resilient – Peak performers are resilient and have refined their resiliency through the fires of competition and challenges. People ask me all the time whether resiliency, grit, and determination can be learned and developed, or do some people just possess these qualities while others do not. Based upon our research and experience in working with elite athletes and high performing leaders in business and life, we believe 2 things about resiliency. First, some people possess an innate ability to be highly resilient and possess a stronger will to win than others. Second, no matter what level of resiliency or grit you have been born with, you can grow and develop your ability to persevere in pressure moments. As Angela Duckworth said in her groundbreaking book Grit: The Power Of Passion And Perseverance, “When you keep searching for ways to change your situation for the better, you stand a chance of finding them. When you stop searching, assuming they can’t be found, you guarantee they won.” Our research and experience confirm what she discovered through her own process of discovery: Truly resilient people get into possibility thinking very early when facing a trial or pressure moment. They ask “What’s possible?” instead of saying “Oh, this is bad!” and they strive to find ways to persevere. To grow your grit, focus on having a growth mindset, rely on positive “self-talk” from yourself and others, and seek out and discover what’s possible.

I encourage you to apply these techniques in your life as you pursue your goals and persevere in pressure moments. Don’t be fearful or distracted by the weight of the moment. Be present, unleash your talent, and bring your best in every situation inspiring others to do the same. You may just discover, like Gilles Muller, that resiliency and success are found in one swing of the racket (i.e. taking the next step toward the direction of your dreams)!

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Surpassing Setbacks: What I Learned From Jordan Spieth

Jordan Spieth found himself in a playoff. Just moments before, he was leading the 2017 Travelers Championship Tournament and just needed to finish strong. As he gathered himself and focused on his tee shot, he attempted to clear a tall tree and instead hit the tree, which yielded a fortunate bounce into the fairway. He could have been wondering what happened – not only on this shot but the shots and holes that forced him into this playoff hole. Why did he hit the tree? Why couldn’t he finish the deal? What was happening?

It’s in these moments that we truly discover what we are made of! Character, grit, and resiliency are refined in the midst of setbacks and struggles. We can either become determined or disillusioned, and it only takes a moment to tilt the balance of confidence one way or the other.

In the midst of challenges in sports, business, and life, here are at least 3 things that we must do to accomplish the goal:

  • Clarify the Goal – When something happens that you did not expect and “perfection” is not achieved, you can tend to react with dismay and disillusionment, because your expectations are misguided. You try to control the outcome of everything you do and forget that there will be moments where you are less than perfect. You press in to control, which leads to being tight, tense, and terse. This is not the way to win a golf tournament, lead your team, or accomplish your goals. It is in these moments that you need to reassess and clarify the goal. For Jordan Spieth, the goal was to win the playoff hole and the tournament…not hit every golf shot perfectly, and he re-focused his energy and effort appropriately to achieve this goal instead of worrying about past failures, which he could not change.
  • Simplify the Process – Especially in moments of strife, I often tell my golfers (and other athletes) the following mantra: “Sometimes, it’s just about getting from point A to point B to point C.” In other words, when things are not going your way, simplify the process to achieve the goal. If a certain part of your game is not going right, play to your strengths and what is going well for you on that particular day. Don’t overanalyze what is not working and why. Also, consistently ask: What am I trying to accomplish? This question can help you get back on task and on target. Finally, be present and process-focused which should lead to the best result you can achieve on a certain day.
  • Stay Engaged – When a bad moment happens, the result can shift our attitude into a superlative mindset. “I can’t hit my driver.” “I never play well in these situations.” “The people I lead don’t listen to me.” “I will never accomplish my goals.” I have a superlative rule that I use with my athletes and business leaders that I coach comprised of a superlative: Never use superlatives to describe your performance or limit your potential. Stay engaged and dedicated to the process with energy and effort. Anything can happen even in the midst of challenging circumstances, and you must live your life with a possibility mindset.

So what happened next for Jordan? After hitting the tree on his tee shot, Jordan sprayed his approach shot into the sand trap next to the green. Daniel Berger, his opponent, hit his shot onto the fringe of the green but far away from the hole. This hole was not going according to plan for Spieth. Or, was it? Jordan had hit a great up and down shot out of the bunker on the 18th hole just moments before to save par and assure this playoff hole. The reality was that he had confidence hitting out of the sand – a place that no one wants to land – and he just needed to be present in this moment and hit a great golf shot.

Jordan Spieth

Jordan assessed the situation, developed a strategy, and visualized his shot as he grabbed the appropriate club for this moment. He trusted his shot and the ball lifted out the sand trap and softly bounced on the green and rolled into the hole. He tossed the winning golf club out of the bunker and chest bumped his caddy, as the crowd cheered in excitement and amazement!

An incredible shot that ultimately won the tournament for him!  In the article “Why Jordan Spieth’s Tee Shots Didn’t Matter,” the Wall Street Journal chronicled his day in this way:

“The result was Spieth’s 10th victory at the age of 23. Since World War II, only Tiger Woods got to double-digit wins at a younger age….The lesson isn’t that power off the tee doesn’t matter, or that it matters less than what a player does on and around the green. It’s that there is more than one way to win in golf, and to lose….There is no disadvantage that can’t be countered by enough excellence in other parts of the game. Especially if you can hole a bunker shot in a sudden-death playoff.

Whatever your role and your goals, there is a lot we can learn from the example of Jordan Spieth’s tournament victory including playing to your strengths, developing a growth and possibility mindset, and staying focused on the right perspective and process to achieve success and impact even in the midst of a temporary setback.

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3 Lessons I Learned From Magic And Bird

I grew up watching and loving basketball in the 80s! They were formative years for me as I was playing high school basketball and watching my beloved Lakers battle the Boston Celtics throughout the decade. It was one of the fiercest rivalries of all time! Two dynasties who hated each other and at the same time loved playing each other just so they could show who was the more dominant team. ESPN just recently created a 30 For 30 film about this rivalry, and it took two nights to tell the whole story.

Magic and Bird

What made this rivalry even better was that the two best players in the NBA were leading their teams into battle: Magic Johnson for the Lakers and Larry Bird for the Celtics. This rivalry began in college and climaxed with the two of them facing each other in the NCAA Championship, which was the most watched game of all time! I was a Magic Johnson fan when he was at Michigan State and became an even bigger fan of his when he joined the Lakers. While I was a foot shorter than him, I was a point guard like him, and I tried to emulate his moves, passion for the game, and his incredible no look passes.

At this point in time in basketball history, you chose a team and rooted for that team, which meant that you despised the other teams and players that were trying to beat you. While I have come to appreciate Larry Bird over time, I did not like him at all when he was competing against Magic and the Lakers, because he was a Celtic! He and his team were trying to take out “my team” – sometimes literally – and I hated that! After watching the ESPN 30 for 30 film and reflecting on almost every moment that I remember watching intently during those championship years, here are at least 3 things that both Magic and Bird taught me about Race, Competition, and Resiliency:

  • Race – The emergence of Larry Bird and Magic Johnson brought out feelings, emotions, and conversations about race during a very fragile time in the history of the NBA. Attendance numbers were horrible for NBA games, and they could not find sponsors or even get the NBA Finals shown on live TV in prime time. I watched many Lakers playoff and finals games on tape delay, meaning they were previously recorded and joined in progress because the network decided the TV show M*A*S*H was more important than my team. Both Larry and Magic entered the league at the same time and brought energy and passion to the game that renewed interest from the fans. The unintended consequence is that part of their rivalry split the country along racial lines. This was never the intent of the two players. In fact, both Bird and Magic saw themselves as great basketball players, not players of a certain color. Growing up in Memphis, I had always seen basketball as a way to transcend race. When we played, the key question was: “Can you play?” If you could play basketball, you were accepted and respected regardless of the color of your skin. Bird and Magic taught me to understand this even more and showed that you did not have to put an extra adjective in describing a player that was of a certain color or race – they were “great basketball players!” Period! I have always applied this in my life when I see people, similar to what Martin Luther King articulated in his “I Have a Dream” speech and definitely what God intended when he created us all!
  • Competition – Magic and Bird pushed each other to be the best they could be. Based upon their passion for the game and their incredible work ethic, I learned how to work hard on my game and compete, loving every moment in the process. Every time I practiced, played a driveway pick up game, or played in a real game, I treated it like Game 7 of the NBA Finals. I also learned that in order to compete well, you focus on what you do well and not the strengths of the other person or team. Competition is all about bringing your best on game day and not worrying about what the other team may or may not do – a lesson the Lakers learned through defeat in 1984 and then success in 1985 and 1987 against their bitter rival.
  • Resiliency – For some reason, I never saw height, speed, or any other physical trait as a limitation to what I could accomplish on and off the court. I know a lot of this mindset was reaffirmed in me by watching Bird and Magic play the game. Bird was doubted at different times in his life, including by his own teammates when he first joined the Celtics, based on the color of his skin and his “perceived” lack of speed and jumping ability. Larry quickly dispelled these perceptions and myths to become one of the greatest basketball players ever! And Magic was called “Tragic” at one point in his career based on a couple of failed moments in the 1984 Finals. Yet, both of them had a courageous heart and an indomitable will to win! Bird was famous for telling the other team the exact play the Celtics were going to run and what he was going to do to win the game and then going out and doing it. And Magic came back to beat the Celtics twice after the bitter 1984 defeat and win 5 overall championships in the 80s by demonstrating leadership and a mindset of “I’m not going down like this!” In fact, Magic won both the league and finals MVP trophies as well as the NBA Championship in 1987 based on a resilient mindset.

There are many things that we can learn from Larry Bird and Magic Johnson both individually and collectively. I am grateful for their passion for the game, their desire and pursuit to be THEIR best and THE best, their work ethic, and their intense will to win. I am also grateful for the life lessons they taught me and the love of a sport that has helped me develop as a leader on and off the court.

My encouragement to you is to apply these same lessons in every part of your life to be the best you can be, to show mutual respect to others, and to be resilient when setbacks say you can’t have a pathway to success!

Finally, being a Magic Johnson and Lakers fan, I could not resist ending this post without including this clip of Larry acknowledging Magic’s greatness after a Finals win for the Lakers!

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How Ralph Waldo Emerson Helped Me Understand My Calling

My mom was an English teacher and always gave me a great love for the classic poets. While her favorite was probably Robert Frost, I always gravitated to Ralph Waldo Emerson. His quotes and his deep thinking about life, impact, and influence definitely affected me as a high school student and as a husband, father, and leader today. When I think about my favorite Emerson quotes, it is hard to limit it to just one quote. Yet, there is one that comes to mind that has made the biggest impact on my life, especially when it comes to my calling in life.

Man writing in a journal

Throughout his life, Emerson mentored and encouraged other writers and poets including Henry David Thoreau. One of the essential questions that he often asked of his friends and mentees was:

What has become clear since we last met?

This simple yet insightful inquiry has always resonated with me because of the very nature of the response that it demands. This question forces you to be self aware – of yourself, your surroundings, your activity, and your opportunities. And the goal is a drive to clarity and action.

I have used this powerful question in my own life and with the people I coach, who have definitely heard me ask them on more than one occasion. It has helped me become clear about my calling and served as a catalyst for me to seize the moment as it relates to the opportunities in my life. Here are 3 things to consider when thinking about this question:

  • What – This part of the question forces you to think about the events of the past day, week, or month and consider the data points in your life. It is easy to go through life in a transactional and busy state aware that you are doing things but not being able to fully recall where the hours and days went and how you spent them. How often have you heard the statements: “I can’t believe it’s 5 pm?” “Where did the day go?” “Is this year already halfway over?” We must think earnestly about the moments in our lives and understand how we are investing our time in order to make the most of our moments.
  • Why – The word “clear” is the central theme and focus of Emerson’s question. Based on the data points that you have experienced in your past, what have you learned and what clarity have you drawn about yourself, your life, others, your impact, your talents and strengths, and your passions? We all desire clarity in our lives, and a fully present consideration of your life can help you draw this clarity. For me, this part of the question is a process. The clarity does not always come by asking the question the first time. There have been times in my life where I did not have a good answer about why I was going through a certain moment and, therefore, could not yet draw clarity about it. Over time, I was able to work through this process and become clear about the experiences in my life and how they were shaping my character and calling.
  • What’s Next – Careful observation leads to discernment and learning, which should result in purposeful action both now and in the future. The learning and insight you gain about the past reminds you to continue down a certain path or redirect your efforts toward a different outcome. It also helps to clarify your calling, which becomes an active state of living your purpose. The insight is not useful if it doesn’t get put into practice.

Clarity in 3D

Ralph Waldo Emerson posed this question to his friends was to get them to think about their life and their activity and make conscientious choices about how they invest their time. As you think about what happened yesterday, last week, and/or last month, ask this question on a regular basis both of yourself and others to help gain clarity of calling and your next step. It just might be one of the best questions you could ever consider.

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Get Out Of The Way

In working with many athletes over the years, I often hear them say the phrases “I just need to get out of my own way,” or “I can’t get out of my own way.” In this moment, they are acknowledging the reality that their current choice of thoughts is preventing them from performing at the level that they know they can perform. They are essentially getting in the way of unleashing their potential, and it all begins in their mind.

Pessimism Street Sign

I often use the following axiom with the athletes I coach:

Every Action Begins With A Thought

When you stand over a golf shot, you are thinking about where you want to hit the ball. When you are on the mound, you are thinking about pitching the baseball into the catcher’s target. When you are at the free throw line, you are thinking about bending your knees and following through on the shot. At least, this is what you should be thinking about in order to put your mind in a position to have success.

It all begins in the mind, and the words you choose to feed yourself affect your performance. If you are thinking negative thoughts or words that are fearful, you significantly minimize your chance to be successful. You are in essence “getting in the way” of unleashing your talent! If, however, you focus on positive thoughts and words that lead you to belief and trust, you put yourself in the best position to perform at your best.

It sometimes takes a careful evaluation and rewiring of our vocabulary and the words we use in order to develop the best words and, ultimately, thoughts to focus on. For example, I have had some athletes meet with me the day before a game or competition and say the following: “Tomorrow, I just want to worry about hitting my shots.“ Now, I understand what they are saying, but in that moment, they are using the negative word of worry.

Instead, the best approach is to use the right words and rewire your thoughts about the game. A better phrase in this instance is: “Tomorrow, I want to focus on being athletic and playing with energy and effort.” This phrase changes the key word to focus and centers around process-oriented things that you can control vs. outcome-oriented things that can be influenced but not controlled.

frustrated young business man

These sports performance concepts also apply to other areas of life. Consider the following questions:

  • As a business leader, do I sometimes let negative thoughts or doubt affect my actions?
  • Do I hinder myself from truly maximizing my potential and achieving my goals based on a limited view of my talent and strengths?
  • Do I let doubt affect my ability to trust the people I lead and influence with more responsibility?
  • Do I try to control outcomes instead of focusing on process-oriented things that I can control and influence?
  • What negative words do I need to throw out of my head and replace with positive ones that can put me in a position to have success and the correct focus?
  • Do I begin each day with a possibility and growth mindset, or do I limit the trajectory of my day and week due to a pessimistic and stagnant point of view?

They key is not to get out of the way, but to show up and be present with a mindset that is determined, not debilitating. You must realize that your thoughts affect your actions. The reality is that you do have a choice regarding your thoughts, which can have a positive effect on your performance in sports, business, and life. Moreover, your choice to speak from a positive mindset and vocabulary will in turn help others maximize their potential and opportunities as well. Choose today to live from a place of possibility and growth!

 

This blog post was adapted from my upcoming sports performance workbook, Be Present: Showing Up When It Matters Most, which will be available this summer.

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What Happens When You Focus on Goliath

The real life story of David vs. Goliath in the Bible has been told many times! In fact, it is often used as a metaphor for sports, business, and life when a team or company faces a giant and takes him down. Coaches and leaders frequently use a “David vs. Goliath” reference to motivate the team or organization to conquer the odds, win the impossible championship, or suddenly emerge as a new entrant into a mature market.

Small and giant businessmen

While we are inspired by David and his faith, it is easy to get discouraged and disillusioned by the “giants” in our own lives. I have seen this as an athlete and coach when players or a team worries more about the size of their opponent than their own talents, opportunities, and resources. I have often seen it in the faces of people who are not just battling some opponent on the field but a fierce and unforgiving giant in their lives. When we focus and worry about the Goliaths in our lives, we forget and forsake the keys to persevering in those moments. Specifically, here are some pitfalls that occur when you focus on the giant:

  • You magnify the size of the giant – If we are facing a giant in our lives, it is already big by the definition of the word giant. We don’t need to increase the size of our giant by constantly thinking and worrying about it. As I tell the athletes that I coach: What you choose to focus on magnifies in size. If you choose to focus on the giant, he will get bigger. If you choose to focus on your goal and target and the process to get there, your goal will get bigger, clearer, and more possible.
  • You do unnatural things and forget what you do best – When you are facing a giant, you tend to do things that you have never done before. I once saw this with one of the basketball teams that I coached. We were facing some giants – literally – on the court, and we began to shoot long quick shots and try to play one-on-five basketball, which was not our natural tendency as a team. We got away from what made us successful all because we were facing a giant – or a whole team of giants! It is easy to go solo when the giant appears, because we fear that we have to face it alone. Just like David, we must remember the things that got us here and rely on those things to get us through this moment. David refused the armor that was offered to him, because he knew that it was his skills as a shepherd and his faith that were going to sustain him in facing Goliath.
  • You worry about the other team’s strengths – When you focus on the giant in front of you, you tend to worry about all of the qualities and strengths of the giant before you. You become defeated before you even take the “field,” because the giant seems menacing and insurmountable. Making a detailed list of all of the strengths of your giant and articulating all of the reasons why you will never get through it are not helpful habits.
  • You don’t trust yourself or your teammates – As a leader, trust is essential to competing in sports, completing a successful project or product launch in business, and/or building and growing a great family. Giants can step in and overshadow your ability to trust what you know to be true about yourself and others affecting your ability to perform well in important moments. Fear and trust cannot coexist, and one usually dominates the other based on which one we feed. In order to be fearless, we need to fear less and trust more.
  • You don’t play to your strengths – Giants try to kill, steal, and destroy the things that make you successful and impactful with your life. By nature, a giant is destructive, not subtle. A giant has one mission and that is to tear apart things and people. When you are facing a giant in any arena of life, you have to play to your strengths, not the giant’s strengths. For me, it always begins with my faith and the people I have in my life to remind me of this. My faith in Jesus is my strength and the foundation of my life. Jesus is the one person I can count on whenever I am facing a giant in my life, and I have already faced several in my life so far that He has helped me conquer. Realizing that He is my strength and leveraging systems and processes and character traits that ground me in this truth are the way I play to my strengths.
  • You allow probability thinking to overshadow possibility thinking – The probability of you conquering a giant is not always good unless you are a giant yourself. The mere mention of a giant means that the person, thing, or problem that you are facing is bigger probability-wise than you. If you focus on the math, it doesn’t compute to success, a win, or a breakthrough moment. The probability of success in this moment far surpasses the possibility of surviving it. Yet, it is possibility thinking that defines truly resilient people. In all of the research and work we have done in helping and coaching leaders and elite athletes to maximize their potential and accomplish their goals, we have found that resilient people get into possibility thinking really quickly when they face a problem of gigantic proportions. They are realistic about the giant, but they don’t remain rattled by it. They move on past the problem in front of them and seek and discover what’s possible in solving this very formidable problem. And, sometimes, it is not even about conquering the giant but more about how they can grow from the experience.

Problems, foes, adversaries, strongholds, and giants are all a part of life. You will see them and ultimately face them sometime in your life. Whether you have faced a giant in your past or are currently facing one in this present moment, I want to encourage you to learn from the story of David. He did not focus on Goliath and avoided the pitfalls mentioned above. By focusing on his faith, his strengths, and the size of God and His power, he conquered his Goliath, and you can too. Choose today to focus on the things that will help you prevail against your giant!

Related to the topic of this blog post, I wanted to make you aware of a book by my friend Louie Giglio entitled Goliath Must Fall. Louie has been a spiritual mentor to me since my days in college, and he is an incredible Pastor and communicator who has inspired many people including college students all over the world. In his new book, he authentically shares his testimony of facing a season that seemed insurmountable and what he learned about how you can truly conquer the giants of Goliath proportion in your life. While you can find a link in our Resources area on my web site to buy the book, I am also giving away 3 free copies of his book. Enter Our Giveaway before the deadline of Monday, May 22nd for a chance to win one of these free copies.

 

The Source of Your Identity with Kyle Van Hoozer – Podcast: S01E006

Today’s podcast is a follow-up to last week’s episode where I talked about 3 X-Factors to success in sports, business, and life and introduced you to 2 math equations that can help or hinder your performance based on which one you follow. I explore these equations more in this episode and discuss how connecting your identity directly to your performance or title can severely hinder your ability to perform at your best, especially when you have a bad performance or when that title, sport, or opportunity changes or is taken away.

You will also hear from a very special person that I have known all of his life – my son Kyle Van Hoozer. Kyle shared a message on Youth Sunday at Second Baptist Church that I think will resonate with you that relates to this topic of identity and how pride can get in the way of discovering the real source of strength in your life. You can listen to the audio of his message on the podcast or watch the video on this blog post.

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3 X-Factors For Success In Sports, Business, and Life

In today’s podcast, I share 3 X-Factors that you can use to have success and impact in sports, business, and life. I have taught these principles in my “Mastering the Mental Game of Golf” workshop and have used them in coaching thousands of athletes across all sports as well as coaching entrepreneurs and business leaders. These principles can be applied to any area of life and can help you become more resilient, maximize your potential, and accomplish your goals.

Episode Outline:

  • 4 Dimensions of Peak Performance:
    • Technical
    • Mental
    • Nutritional
    • Physical
  • Use creative tension to be resilient and push through resistance to accomplish your goals.
  • “Most people never get there. They’re afraid or unwilling to demand enough of themselves and take the easy road, the path of least resistance. But struggling and suffering, as I now saw it, were the essence of a life worth living. If you’re not pushing yourself beyond the comfort zone, if you’re not constantly demanding more from yourself—expanding and learning as you go—you’re choosing a numb existence. You’re denying yourself an extraordinary trip.” Dean Karnazes, ultra-marathoner
  • Many people operate from this math equation that can hinder your performance:
    • Identity = Performance + Opinion of Others
  • They should be operating from this equation which can boost your performance:
    • Performance = Potential/Talent – Distraction
  • 3 X-Factors For Success in Sports, Business, and Life:
    • Focus
    • I Will Mindset
    • Recovery Time©
  • “What you choose to focus on magnifies in size.” – Mike Van Hoozer
  • Key Questions About Focus:
    • What thoughts are you thinking about?
    • Do you carry bad plays or bad performances in the past with you into the present moment
    • Are you using negative words without even realizing the effect it is having on your performance?
    • Do you focus on the obstacle and the challenge or the target and the goal
  • Volition – Your will or desire to do something; determination
  • “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” – Nido Qubein
  • 9 Additional Tips For Consistently Achieving Excellence In Every Area of Life:
    • Know Why You Do What You Do
    • Practice With a Purpose
    • Use a Consistent Pre-Shot Routine Utilizing SFT
    • Use Activating/Trigger Phrases in Your Pre-Shot Routine
    • Focus on the Target (vs. Avoiding the Hazard)
    • Play Shot to Shot – Perform in the Moment©
    • Focus 12 seconds at a Time
    • Be Outcome-Driven and Process-Focused
    • Play the Round and Let the Round Play Out

Additional Resources:

  • Catherine Kruppa – Peak Performance Colleague and licensed dietitian, nutritionist, and wellness coach
  • Ben Fairchild – Peak Sports Performance Colleague and trainer for elite high school, college, and professional athletes
  • Jim Guillory – Peak Performance Colleague and muscle activation technique (MAT) specialist

 

Don’t Allow Perception To Dictate Your Reality

We sometimes perceive things that are not really true. This occurs when we attach additional meaning to something that is said or done that is not based on fact. There are some examples where perception can be a good thing like offering a word of encouragement to someone that we perceive is feeling down or avoiding a dangerous situation because we perceive it might cause us harm. Yet, there are times when perception leads us to assume the wrong things about someone’s motives or actions and keep us from thinking the best about a person or situation.

I can do it card

We have to be careful to separate perception from reality and think critically every time we experience a perception, discerning whether it is true and real or not. I see the ill effects of perceptions in my work with elite athletes where they let their perceptions guide actions and even worse, dictate their outcomes. This happens when they allow a wrong or misinformed perception to develop into a misguided perspective leading to an unfortunate reality.

I remember I was working with a high school golfer who was debriefing a recent round with me. This very good golfer told me that he hit a shot off the tee into the woods and then tried to aggressively get out of the woods with his next shot only to have it hit the trees leading to a double bogey on the hole. He then proceeded to tell me that his round was over and was all downhill from there. When I asked him what hole this occurred on, he informed me that it was the 2nd hole.

In this moment, he allowed a real situation – not scoring his best on a hole – to become a perception that his round was over and that he would never catch up to the other players in the round, therefore leading to more bad shots and holes. His misguided perception led to a misinformed perspective which spiraled down into an unfortunate round of golf, which could have been avoided by questioning his initial perception in the moment.

we are what we believe sign

I have also seen this occur in other areas of life including work, home, and communities. We often receive what we perceive as “truth” instead of dealing in facts and reality. When we allow a bad perception to become a truth or reality in our lives, it limits us from maximizing our potential and achieving our goals. We box ourselves into a false mindset which leads to tentative or passive behaviors that result in outcomes that are less than optimal and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Breaking the cycle of a bad perception or perspective is essential to having a growth mindset and becoming who you were meant to be. But, how do you do that? Here are several things that you can do to create breakthrough moments and avoid allowing a misguided mindset to dictate your reality:

  • Question the Perception – Any time you have a perception about a person or a situation, question it first by asking: Is my perception about this really true? Discern fact from fiction or your perceived meaning that you may be adding to the situation. While the gift of discernment can be a very good thing almost like Spiderman’s “Spidy Sense,” I think it is always good to analyze the facts and question whether they are real or not and what conclusion they lead you to.
  • Discern the Truth – Once you have questioned the perception, it is important to discover and discern the truth about a given situation or person. Are your teammates really mad at you and consider you a failure about not coming through in the clutch, or are they just upset that the team did not win knowing you gave your best? Maybe, your kids and co-workers are really listening to every bit of wisdom you are sharing with them! One of the best ways to discern the truth is beginning with a mindset that believes the best about people. This starting point allows you to more accurately seek the truth in every situation and avoid misleading assumptions.
  • Break the Cycle – Break the cycle of buying in to bad perceptions by replacing the perception with statements of truth about you, your strengths, your past accomplishments, and the opportunities that are in front of you.
  • Develop a Growth Mindset – Replace your problematic mindset with a possibility mindset. Think in terms of what’s possible, not your perception about what is not. Developing a growth mindset is a process and depends on your determination to unlearn bad habits and negative thoughts, and replace them with new thoughts that lead to growth and grit.

Don’t allow perceptions to limit your possibilities. Unleash your potential in all areas of your life, and create a reality that you can be proud of and that makes a positive difference within your sphere of influence!

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